It has been awhile...

Hi...

It has been awhile.

Visiting this blog is like visiting a grave to pay respect to a long lost friend.

I can only vividly remember the time when I took the trouble every night focusing and posting what's

life means to me. Being pretty honest in every post and doesn't care what the world think.

I can remember the effort, but I can't remember the feeling attached to every blog.


Not pretty sure if I should continue posting, but erm..

It has been awhile and many things have changed. Destiny has opened a path and I am currently

satisfied with it. But these days I have been looking back to the past and trying to attain some life

qualities  which I used to have back then. I have lost some part of me. And I am okay cause, I know I

didn't lose it all.


Maybe I should continue posting.. once in awhile. And when next time destiny open another path for

me, at least I will be reminded of the different paths I have chosen in life. To my friends who are

reading my  past blogs for the first time, do remember that this is my past and most probably I am not

the same person again, so don't judge me today for what you have read about my past.

Even if you do, I wouldn't give a damn.


Cheers.


Adi Fazely.

The Homeless - Part 2

Looking at The Heart of the Case.

As what been mentioned earlier, in "Homeless - Part 1", both children of "Homeless- Aged Parents" and bread winners of "Homeless - Family Nucleus" stand the accused of the predicament. Need no explanation to vindicate their irresponsible actions, it is clear that their family value significancy are at questioned and no doubt it is the root to the whole stigma.

Whatever that could have attributed to their low degree of significancy in family value issues, I believe it has much vis-a-vis to their past experiences in their growing up years. It is all about what they have been taught over the years and how the past surrounding conceives their perceptions.

Nevertheless, in order to tackle this stigma from worsen, healthy sets of family values have to be instill in children at the very young age. Parents should teach their kids the importance of family values, eg. the act caring and sharing, in order to be able to achieve a stable and harmonious family.

I believe this is the first step to take, in not only overcoming the 'Homeless' predicament, but also to promote a prosocial society in Singapore.

So What's Next?

I think the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports (MCYS) should emphasize more heavily in the importance of family values as well as commemorating "Family Day". This is to emphasize the importance of family members and thus, hopefully, Singaporeans in near future would learn to spend their money wisely- having the people they love as a consideration to their unnecessary spending- and not be homeless.

Why,Now, I Do Not Want A 4-Room Flat? (Derived From "The Homeless - Part 1")

Reading from the first three paragraph of Part 1, you could see that what I actually wanted back then- play house and own room- was my own personal space. And over the years, I am fortunate enough to be brought up by a single mother that instilled good sets of family values in me. Having said that, I have learnt and understand that nothing could be more important than your own family members. Now, I feel that I don't really need my own room because my family members are already part of my personal space (Of course not implying to showering and such). I am fine, comfortable and grateful in waking up early in the morning to see my mom sleeping 2 metres away, every time I opened my eyes from my sleep (aww).

Till the Next Blog; With Loads of Love - Adifazely.

The Homeless - Part 1

When I was a kid, I had always wanted a 'Play House' sold at Toys 'R' Us. It was a hard plastic house that had a size of 3 by 3 metres in length, and a metre in height. What had made it attractive in the eyes of the kids was its bright coloured features and various designs of houses. Die-hard I wanted it badly, despite knowing that it could get stuffy after awhile in it. And my Dearest Mom would give her usual reply of 'Okay, shall get it for you someday' whenever I asked for it. It was only the matter of time before I would figure out that it was just another false hope of hers; like how she used to 'promise' that she would register me for weekly tae-kwon-do lessons back then.

When I matured into a teenager a decade ago, I had moved into my recent house at Bedok. I pondered 'When will I ever have my own room?' since I have been sharing a room with my younger siblings all these while.

Now, all grown up, I am excited that the lingering thought of having my own room would soon be a reality after my mom told me that she is planning of getting a resale 4 room flat. I know this time it is not going to be another false hope of hers, as both me and my mom have planned to share our CPF funds to get the flat. However, vis-a-vis to the recent substantive issue- the increasing number of the Homeless, it has made me to think twice about getting my own room...

The Homeless

As you know, statistics have shown that there's a growth in the homeless population. These homeless have become the 'Permanent Residents' of places like streets and beaches. Unlike the kind of PR that certain eligible foreigners could apply for, if they wish to work and live here, the homeless are not allowed to be the 'PR' of the streets or places as such.

There are two kinds of homeless that we could look at. One is the homeless family -where the whole of the family nucleus had been kicked out from their homes due to unaffordable payments of Housing Development Board (HDB) or bank loans. The other type of homeless is made up of aged parents, where their ungrateful children insisted that Old Folk's Home is the best resort for them. Typical reason, lack-of-time to look after the well-being of their parents due to busy schedule at work.

Among these two, my heart goes a lot to the latter type of homeless people. The homeless 'family nucleus' existed because of their greed: which is totally avoidable if the bread winner of the family is wise in his expenditure and payment of loans. Conversely, the homeless 'aged parents' have no alternative but to be homeless if they want to escape from being imprisoned in the Old Folk's Home. Personally, I would rather be homeless than to be send to such Homes. For simple logic; I'm old and my life span is short. I would rather live in uncertainties of my remaining days of life- just to able to see happiness around me even though it isn't mine, than to be in the same place everyday till my last breath- where sorrows of other souls grieve in silence.

Latter part of the heart-throbbing issue, the HDB was fast enough to react with the raising concern of these homeless. I guess they were going like 'Ouhk-oh' .. after lots of questions probably hanging in the air which goes something like: Okay, I wasn't given second chance in my payment of house thus I need to pack my stuff to make my leave and it is an offence to live in the public. So where on earth I need to go if I do not have any relatives or my relatives aren't kind enough to spare some space in their house?

So, our gracious HDB are actually making some apartments for these homeless- a temporary stay of three months before they finally got a more stable job which could allow them to move out from their support. I was imagining their temporary home would look somewhat like a hostel as they would be sharing the apartment with rest of the other homeless.

But then again, will this solution is going to decline the raising number of the homeless? Or would take HDB by storm if their implementation could actually end up in an ironic twist? While me and my good friend, Mr M, were pondering and sharing solutions to it days ago, I guess the one of the way could decline the homeless population is by tackling the issue in the root of the problem.

What's the "Really Root of the Problem?" Elaboration would be explain in my next blog. It is getting late guys.

To Be Continued . .

Running With Music.

I plugged in my new bright red JVC ear piece, which I never regretted buying it for ten dollars, into my ears. As I bend as low as I could to reach for my toes- to have my calf stretched, I was, at the same time, having short visuals of how the speed of my run going to start like. It was either going to be a fast or a slow start. Much depending on my mood of the day.

Like just now, I had a fast start. I was having too much tensions for what had happened earlier in the day. But after a few hundred metres of running, the pace had to reduce tremendously after I realized that, my breathing could not keep up with the speed that I had started with, mainly because; I had not been running consistently for the past two days and had couple of beers and countless sticks of cigarettes over the holidays.

As usual, I would listen to my favourite songs times and times over again, that had relations to my emotions and construals for that moment. I would not only listen, but imagine as well that I was that one that performing the played songs. I would imagine that I was performing and at the same time, dedicating the song to the person that the song was meant for. The fact that I am not an expressive person or good at expressing myself, dedicating songs is an alternative way for me to express myself well.

You see guys, music is everything. Music could be an expression of one's feelings, emotions, thoughts- you named it. To me, the best music is the kind of music that could heal one's soul. On top of that, it would also create a form of motivation for one to get over his problems through indulging in listening the song. If you were to ask me - "What's My Favourite Motivational Song?"- if someone had pissed me off, it would be Fighter by Christina Aguilera.

Six years ago, I had been betrayed by a person that I adored so much thus it had made me determined to lose weight as to have a nice figure. That was when I decided to pick up running as an hobby. (Read my article: Vanity on Oneself Does Tell A Story.)

So there I was to be seen circling around the 1 km running track, outskirts of the tennis court, swimming pool and the mini-gym. I would usually run 6-7 km, depending how satisfied I was in my running. One thing for sure; my mood would change after I had completed the run.

I guess running would really help one, take me for an example, to distress and would create a form of motivation- to strive for success, through listening of music. I would never run without my Mp3 player. First of all, I would not receive any inspiration in the run and importantly, it would demotivate me because I could listen to my own breathing which subsequently, would affect my running psychologically.

I would recommend you overweight people to try out the technique of Receiving Motivation Through Listening of Music While Running, if you guys are determined to lose weight. It had worked for me well and till this day, I would not slacken down in my running.

Remember 1 thing:

Always maintain a consistent breathing as not collapsed out of sudden. As much as you are heavy indulged in listening to your music, take note of your safety. Know your limit. Never let your emotions to be carried away so much that you have gone beyond what you could. Not Worth It At All.


Till the next blog; with Loads of Love- Adifazely.

A Dedication to All the Ass Shakers Out There: Dancing Communicates.

[This is one of my school module project that I've done months ago. I've summarized it into a appropriate blog content length as to not make it too draggy .. Enjoy reading !^^]

Okay, imagine you were dancing on dance floor. While your body was following the beat of the music through the speaker, your eyes had caught a sight of the most beautiful stranger you had ever seen in your life. You want to get to know him badly. So what would you do to get close to him? Would you asked your friend to help you out? (My BFF certainly won't do that) Would you smile or give your most stern stare? Or just went up straight to him & say "Hi"? Hmm.

Everyone has their own style & ways of doing it. But for those who always have difficulties in this, probably because you're shy, you might want to consider the following steps below to get close to the beautiful stranger, without even going up to him & say "Hi" and felt awkward after the the first word. I shall introduce you the 3 most basic types of non-verbal communication that will help you in "getting close" your beautiful stranger, that you had your eyes on, on the dance floor.

The 3 non-verbal communication codes are Kinesthetic, Haptic & Proxemic Communication. There's many interpretations we could derive from the three key points when we hit the dance floor. For example; it can show one's intention, insecurities or confidence in his or her dancing.


First Step: Creating A Message Across the Distance.

Kinesthetic communication can be described as communication by the convenient use of facial use of facial expressions and eyes contact. Imagine the guy you admired realized that you had your eyes on him. So what's next? You have to make use of kinesthetic communication to show that you are interested in him & not gossiping or picking a fight with him instead. A short sweet smile would do the trick.

Don't Give up if ...

1). He looked away. Who knows he's probably shy because you're cute. Continue on & off looking towards his direction.

2). He were to give you a stern stare. He gave you a stern stare probably because he might think that you know him. The stern stare was to recall if he have ever know you before.

The both two ques above, doesn't guarantee if the person you admire is interested in you or not. Just be patience. You must remember One Golden Rule in"reading people" which is; Always look for consistency in the behavior of the one being observed.

But please to give up if..

1). He rolled his eyes on you. (He's simply just an arrogant mother-f that does not know to receive smile as a compliment from a stranger.)

Second step: *Blink *Blink. He Winked. What's next?

So it was indeed your lucky night. You had stepped in to the club where you had found an admirer that you had your eyes on. Guess it's time to get closer to the 'fish' that you were 'preying' for. This would leads to the next step; Proxemic communication.

Proxemic communication is communicating with others by the virtue of the relative positioning of your bodies. In the discotheques, people tends to be aware of their personal space as to avoid either being harassed or accused of immodest act of harassing.

So how would you want to get close with him? You guys were like 2 metres away & the dance floor were packed with "wriggling worms". My advice; Shift your position & subtly, dance your way towards him. Your intrusion to his personal space wouldn't make him offended because, you had "send the message" earlier on.


Last step: Touch My Body !

Touch is all about Haptic communication. It's physical touch & the message that is put across. For example, a touch on the upper torso, on someone that is walking, would be a guidance to correct direction. There are several elements of touch that interpret different meanings. It goes from greeting to intimacy and others.

Haptic communication in discotheques help dancers on the dance floor to get more intimate with their partner or flirt. It has been a norm for couples on the dance floor to hold each other by shoulders to feel make them feel secure of their lover from others. If you realized that your beautiful stranger, that you had got close on the dance floor, tends to touch you frequently while dancing, it most probably means that, You Will Have A Good End To the Night.. Hehe. Or an indication that he's interested in getting to know you more. Just wait for cell phone number to be exchange.


Till the next Blog; with Loads of Love Adifazely.


(Thousand apologies for my tenses & grammar. )

The Infamous: A Tribute to Victims of Sex Video Phones Speculation.

[What Inspired me to blog this tribute? The increasing trends of sex video speculations, without the acknowledge of the involving sex parties, which resulted in increasing rate of suicides or destroying one's life. Besides that, I have two beautiful younger sisters, which I pray everyday that, they won't be victims of these inhumane speculation.]

I was reading updates from Facebook till I came across a post that talked about a current sex scandal video featuring one of our local ex-Mediacorp actress. Being kay-po, I clicked on the post to get their whole conversation. It was not long before I figured out who was the actress that they were mentioning about. Wasting no time, I began to google her name up to find out how true was the info. Then I found out, the story was actually appeared in the last Thursday paper.

Hmm. I paused. I read the whole article. I felt sad. I felt for her so bad not because she was a celebrity but, what if (touch wood!) she was my sister or this were to happen to my own sister. How am I, as a brother, able to walk down the streets receiving unwanted stares from strangers that knew about my sister's Infamous video. How am I, as brother, able to defend or stay by my sister side, when my own family members bad talked about my sister during a family gathering. How am I, as a brother, going to give moral support to my sister, at the same time controlling my anger, after all the shame she had brought to the family. I pondered till I almost teared. I still remember the every first video that featured two Malay students that were having sex at scene of a staircase. As My heterosexual friends were getting aroused from the Infamous video, I felt disgusted. Same thing was running through my mind; What if ..

As soon as I snapped out of my pondering, I lie besides my sister, she was 3 years younger than me, that was on the couch- busy playing her Facebook game and told her about this matter. As soon as I finished my lecture, she turned her focused from her notebook and looked amazed.

"She actually did that?" asked my sister, Sheila.

"Yup.. Oh Come on, don't be surprised. Celebrities are not angels after all. They have their mistakes & imperfections. But they supposed to be a Role Models for their fans," I replied in relation to the recent sex scandal story.

"Whatever it is, I'm telling you this so that you would know ... " I widened my eyes as I mentioned the last word of my sentence.

"Ya.. Ya.. I know. And as much as you are concerned about me, I am concerned about you as well," She mocked me with her sweet vicious smile.

I cracked up. "You know me well, honey." I replied to her before I stood up & stole one of her cigarettes.

If I were to give an advice to young adult couples about "Love Making" session recorded on video phone, I would tell them; "It is Always A-okay to record it, But Never A-okay to keep it." If they were smart enough to record it, they should be smart enough to delete it, & know why was it dangerous to keep such video.


Why Is It A-Okay to Record It?

I lost my virginity as early as 14 (something that I wasn't proud of) and always believe that, "Love-Making" session is a Beautiful thing. It is true when they say that "When you're in Love, the heart speaks with the heart, no words required for us to say."

I remembered there was a particular time, I had I recorded my Love Making session with my only ex-love and it was somewhat weird, but nice FOR US to view it. After viewing, both of us agreed that the passion in the "Love-Making" and it was just priceless. It was just that, I got a hard slapped on the head, Ouch!, when I jokingly told my ex-love that, "Damn, you could pass as a Hot Porn-star."

After watching it, both of us come to same thinking that the video MUST be destroyed. And obviously we didn't use video phone, oh come on; Video phone is such a child's play. We used my notebook- The bigger, the better baby..

Okay enough said of my experience. Back to the topic. My advice to you girls out there, please be careful with this increasing trends of video phone thingy. Like what Jason Mraz sang.. "Our Name is Our Virtue .." It would really bring great pain to my eyes, especially your parents & family- not forgetting race, to watch you girls trying to be naughty for the obvious wrong reason. If you decided to recorded it with your partner, just to see how funny your boyfriend face when he reached to his stage of Nirvana, Please don't forget to Delete it off. For Heaven sake.

Lastly, Never trusted your boyfriend when he said that he would keep the video with full-responsibility. This is simply because; Men are not Only Ego but They are Careless at times. Most of times for me. So ya, Be Safe Never Keep Your Sex Video. I couldn't emphasize more than this.


Till my next Blog; With Loads of Love - Adifazely.


[This is a message to a Friend, or acquaintance for now, who decided to say Goodbye to my circle of friends recently; you know who you are.

Erm dude, I still remember what you told me before when I told you that ..

"No matter how we quarreled with each other, we (Alfiah gang) would still, at the end of the day, be good with each other again"

And you replied something like, "It's good that you guys maintained the good relationship with each other."

I truly hope that you would take back your Goodbye, if you are a man of your words. Maybe you might not want to chat with me anymore, which I could understand why, but at least not to the others. Because they don't deserve it. Well, I could be full of crap at times, (who doesn't anyway), so ya la.. I think I have done my part since it was My Fault for your leave. Till then, take care. - Adifazely]

Love, Lust & Friendship.

It was 3.18 am when I switched on my notebook. I was telling myself,"Okay, 10 minutes Adi. No later than that." I log in to my addicted website- Facebook to read and reply notifications which I had received. As soon as I was done, I decided browsed the "News Feed" section to get updates from my fellow friends. Then something caught my attention; My 1st ex-love, whom I broke up with 2 months ago, was already in relationship.

I was like .. " Haha, nothing surprising." Zebras can never hide their stripes, as they are born with it. I log off from Facebook & switched off my notebook. I toss & turn without realizing it was already 4.10 am. God damned it, I would be working in few hours time & still I could not sleep.

There were many things running through my mind. Partly was my ex-love relationship status, the things I had discussed with my Alfiah Gang, earlier that night and the pondering thoughts of Love & Friendship I had while I was on the back back home from gym. Oh ya, we (Alfiah Gang) were sharing our views on my "Friend-a-Fit" article and how I could improve on my blog. Then I came to realize, the whole junk that was running through my mind, were related to one another. Without wasting time, I got my ass up from the couch, leaving my two sleeping buddies aside (my pillows if you are wondering) and head to my bedroom to reach out for my treasure box.

As I was puffing away and at the same time walking in circles in the kitchen, I tried to put all my thoughts into one piece. The more I tried to analyze them, the more wisdom of thoughts flowing in my mind. It was like; you're fixing a jigsaw puzzle & out of nowhere, tonnes of other pieces threw at you to make it complete. I knew I got to hands on, as to not lose those information that I had in my mind. Instantly, I switched on my notebook again & the next thing I knew; I was blogging.

I began by reflecting the thoughts that I had on the day before. I had been pondering a lot about Love, Lust & Friendship. Bubbles of opinions first produced when I out-of-the-blue pondered "Would one chooses Love over Friendship or Friendship over Love?"

There was a particular time, I posed this question to a BFF of mine. We were playing our favourite game at our favourite spot, Alfiah Coffee-shop. It was a quiz game where we would ask each other random questions (life, political, social etc.) and when one answered, others would rate his answer in the given time frame. The winner would obviously be the one that could gave the most intelligent answer to his question. Wasn't that easy for dude. LOL.

So my question went something like this, "Imagine you are a firemen & you could only save 1 person in a fire-fight. Would you save your Best friend, that had been there for you all these while. Or your Only true Love-partner, that if you don't save him, you will never find any true Love-partner ever again."

I glowed with an evil smile when I saw my BFF stuttering in answering his question. He answered that he would save his true Love-partner. Reason being, you can find Best friend anytime.

Nice, I thought. Although it wasn't the same answer that I was thinking, his answer was still a good one. I gave him a good score. My opinion was; If I were to choose between Love and Best friend, I would choose Love. This is because, a true Love-partner consists of a Lover & a Best friend. Whereas a Best friend can only give you the best companionship but not intimacy.

That leads me to another element; Lust. What if the Love that I had found was new, and unsure if he/she could stay long in the relationship? Then I would rather choose my Best friend instead. This is because, it could be Lust that I was unconsciously looking for in my partner, when I first met him/her, and thus I had called it Love. "Love for Lust in Love" Hmm.

I'm no Guru-of-Love, but my previous 1st love had taught me about, more-or-less something that I had longed been searching for; Relationship. Not as if I'm going to die without it but, at times I feel that I need it. My "need" doesn't solely means "Sex/Making Love" but, an observer or close companion that could tell me my progress in Life. Need I remind you guys that, I'm not an expressive person or to be precise, I'm not a good communicator. I can't easily translate what I'm thinking or feeling most of the times even to my BFFs. Just simply difficult dude.

By having a partner, one could express himself & get immediate feedback on his personality. However, keeping a partner isn't as easy as it seems, thanks to the demon that called "Lust". True friends could also give you immediate opinions or feedback, however they can never be the ones that could give you a the intimate touch or entertain your queries most of the times.

The next blog I'll go in detail on Love, Lust & Friendship. Oh ya, I'm gonna give updates on "friend-a-fit" in friendship", as what I truly think of it.


Till the next blog; with Loads of Love - Adifazely.